SB Nation Pittsburgh: All Posts by Stephen Catanese

Pittsburgh Penguins be forewarned: Jaromir Jagr can still turn you inside-out.

2013-05-31T13:30:02Z

Mr. Orpik, first name Hooks, asked me if I'd like to write a little something about Jaromir Jagr.

"Hell yes," I didn't actually say when I responded, but thought giddily. "I loves me some Jaromir Jagr. My favorite thing to write about is Jaromir Jagr and the emotions my profound, borderline-creepy appreciation of him manufacture."

It's complicated.

About a year-and-a-half ago, I wrote a confused, borderline-frustrated ode to Jagr. It was partially an act of coming to grips with other excited-to-disappointed feelings that Jags being Jags can occasionally cause for people who really like Jags.

Like I said, complicated.

I heard he's a jerk. Is he a jerk? I don't know. I've not met him. He seems like a pretty decent, earnest guy in interviews. Members of the Pittsburgh media don't seem to like him. But if a group of out-of-touch, predominantly egotistical windbags talk badly about you, is that a bad thing?

"Sorry Jaromir, we can't hire you for this position. The character reference a cadre of pricks gave you didn't check out. We wish you well in your future goalie sniping endeavors."

Whatever. Here he is. It's the Stanley Cup playoffs and he's about to play in the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since 2001... back when he dominated lesser hockey players for the Penguins.

It's pretty crazy in perspective. Jagr lifts The Cup at the culmination of each of his first two seasons in the NHL. He sports a spectacular mullet, probably buys a bunch of things and gets laid a billion times. Because that's what rich, young athletes who spend two summers underage drinking Iron City and wine spritzers from The Cup do.

And then by design and/or dumb luck, he just couldn't get a sniff that very same cup for a decade-plus span. I consider this semi-final appearance, near the culmination of his career, a sniff.

Between his introduction to Lord Stanley and this most recent trek through the playoffs, Jagr managed to accomplished something perhaps even more impressive -- he became, for a time, the most dominant offensive force in hockey. As the Ron Francises, Paul Coffeys and (briefly) Mario Lemieuxs of the world left the Penguins, Jagr's powers grew, as though supporting talent was kryptonite.

The Penguins' roster withered, the defense casually waltzed towards laughable, and still they still continued to make the playoffs perenially until No. 68's departure. Alexei Kovalev was blessed to play alongside Martin Straka and Robert Lang for a spell. Jagr? He basically begged to have Kip Miller and Jan Hrdina force him the puck.

And it worked.

By then, everything worked for Jagr. He was good enough that the linemate didn't matter. It only mattered that he was on the ice with two living, possibly sentient linemates. Or maybe even Marty McSorley.

He thrived through an unbeatable combination of powerful skating, elite hands and a massive ass. The legs and ass to create space and protect the puck; the deft stick skills to take advantage of the opportunities provided by his physical talents. These are the tools a Hall of Famer is made from.

Jagr is now 41 and his impact is waning. As recent tenures in Philadelphia and Dallas displayed, he's still definitively a useful player and the skill hasn't evaporated..

But he hasn't quite cottoned to Boston's style, especially in the playoffs. That could change at the drop of a hat. After all, even slower and about a couple decades older, Jagr still has a big ass and those diamond-encrusted hands.

That's him -- with slightly grayer, definitely less robust hair -- prowling the ice around the two-minute mark. Not so fast anymore, right? But give him an inch and he'll dangle you, throw a finger to his mouth and tell your fans to shut up. And they will, because he just shut them up.

Sorry. Is it proper etiquette to be this effusive in praise towards an opposing player on a Penguins blog? Let's step back. Are Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin better than Jagr today? Yeah. Is he the best player on the Bruins? Nah, that's probably Zdeno Chara or Tyler Seguin or something.

But carrying a team isn't in his job description anymore, is it? It's to work the power play, create offense and provide a calm, steady influence. And yeah, even without the current numbers, that offensive stuff is a given.

Then again, that doesn't mean he can't take over a shift, a period... even a game.

There's a phrase that's used in soccer: "form is temporary, but class is permanent." Streaks will come and streaks will go, but true skill remains through the years, the surgeries and the wear and tear.

Maybe he's a nefarious, backstabbing Judas. Maybe he's a jerk. But he still has those hands. And as long as his ass hasn't withered away, Jaromir Jagr deserves your -- and the Pittsburgh Penguins' -- complete attention.

#PariseWatch and the end of the world, in 140 characters or less.

2012-07-03T23:08:06Z

The world can relax, if just a little.

KONY 2012 hasn't trended on Twitter for a few months now. The problem is over, the issue resolved.

Joseph Kony, the child-mutilating, murdering, gang-rapist African warlord is no longer a menace. The affluent white guy who had a problem with Kony and made a little bit of YouTube magic got caught running around San Diego in the nude, doing generally insane things. So Kony doesn't matter anymore.

You can stop liking Kony stuff on Facebook and wearing wristbands and telling your friends how SERIOUS AND IMPORTANT THIS ISSUE IS, if you hadn't stopped within a day of seeing the video.

The trend is gone, the impact on society nullified.

KONY 2012 is dead (well, figuratively); long live Zach Parise and #PariseWatch.

What is #PariseWatch, absolutely no one reading this asks?

Well, it's the latest installment of a now-yearly phenomenon during which The Internet adds a new prefix to the word "Watch," hashtags the hell out of it and observes pseudo-journalists as they digitally stumble around and guess really, really hard about what some guy they have zero contact with is going to do.

Steal unverified reports and tweet them without attribution, guess without provocation, spam for the sake of retweeting and retweet for the sake of spamming, 140 characters at a time. Get your name out there and bask in the afterglow of... saying absolutely nothing.

Updates aplenty, news ascarce.

On Sunday, #PariseWatch was imminent and really important. Lots of nothing was reported, but it was reported vigorously. We were enthralled.

On Monday, #PariseWatch was all imminent and really, really important. There was a short press conference in the afternoon where nothing broke and we read in-depth analysis of the nothingness. We remained enthralled.

On Tuesday, the #PariseWatch machine sprung a leak, began to sputter. Patience wore down, the moment drew out. The subject, it seems, wanted to take some time to make up his mind.

"Welcome to the 21st century," The Internet says to #PariseWatch, clearly disappointed in its offspring. "Say goodbye to your trending status, your relevance, your Google Analytics score. You are no longer needed until you are needed."

Just go on the Twitter beast, search for "Parise quiet" and see what pops up.

Fewer and fewer people talking about nothing happening. The most important decision ever, lost in an extended moment.

What movie was it that said life was a series of moments, and to seize yours? I'm sure it was good. Twitter took that, and made life a series of moments. Shorter and shorter moments, each vitally important until they're done, disposed of shortly after.

#PariseWatch? Irrelevant for now.

Give it a few days. It'll briefly be really, really important again. Life-changing. And then gone forever.

Like that Kony guy.

Penguins give up lots of goals, surrender lead again. Lose 8-5 to Flyers and fall behind 2-0 in series.

2012-04-14T02:26:44Z

Pittsburgh may be the only hockey town on the planet where an early two-goal advantage is looked at with increasing skepticism, especially against the Philadelphia Flyers.

For the second game in a row, they jumped out to a quick lead.

For the second game in a row, the Flyers stormed back, answering each punch with an equally devastating counter-punch.

And for the second game in a row, the Penguins relinquished a multi-goal lead on home ice -- two, to be exact -- and fell to the Flyers 8-5 in Game Two of the Eastern Conference quarterfinals at the CONSOL Energy Center.

Pittsburgh is now down 2-0 in the best of seven series, and heads to Philadelphia with a statistical and emotional mountain to climb in what will assuredly be a very hostile, boisterous environment.

Sidney Crosby and Chris Kunitz put the Penguins up 2-0 early, sending the capacity home crowd into boisterous celebration.

All it took to stop the party was -- and no hyperbole here -- unbelievable save from Ilya Bryzgalov and a retaliatory tally from the suddenly villainous Maxime Talbot shortly after. Suddenly, a shroud of "oh no, not again" began to descend over the CONSOL Energy Center.

Paul Martin (PAUL MARTIN) reestablished the Penguins two-goal cushion with seconds left in the first period. But a pair of Claude Giroux goals in the second, including a second short handed goal for the Flyers, evened things at 3-3.

Kunitz responded in Giroux-like fashion, putting away a James Neal rebound to give the Penguins another lead...

...another lead that was lost in the waning seconds of the period thanks to Sean Coururier, who finished past a prone Marc-Andre Fleury.

Leaving everything to play for in the third period.

The Penguins jumped out on the right foot, with Tyler Kennedy sliding a backhander past Bryzgalov, re-reestablishing the hosts lead at 5-4.

That's when the Flyers scored four goals in a row. The game winner? From Jaromir Jagr of course. Oh, and Giroux managed to sneak a hat trick into the evening with an empty net goal in the dying seconds.

Game three is on Sunday in Philadelphia.

Guys, cool it on the nonsense and trolling in the comments section. You'll notice the comments on...

2012-04-12T11:06:43Z

Guys, cool it on the nonsense and trolling in the comments section. You'll notice the comments on last night's game story were cut by about 60 percent.

Arguing is fine. Just because you're here and you're a Flyers fan doesn't mean you're not welcome (and a note to those of you flagging comments, just because a Flyers fan says something you disagree with doesn't mean they're doing something wrong).

But the overtly trolly stuff? Yeah. No warnings in the playoffs.

And FYI: Next person who gets banned also gets their IP address sent to Steve MacIntyre.

Penguins collapse in playoff opener, fall to Flyers 4-3 in overtime.

2012-04-12T02:37:59Z

"Ugly."

The word is stuck within the mind upon a cerebral Post-It.

"Flat" is jotted down too, but "ugly" is in bold, highlighted and reigns supreme.

The Penguins came out on fire Wednesday night in the first game of their opening round playoff match-up against the Philadelphia Flyers. Sidney Crosby, Tyler Kennedy scored goals in rapid fire succession and Pascal Dupuis added a cherry on top near the end of the opening frame, lending the hosts a dominant 3-0 lead by the end of the first period.

Alas, it was only a loan. Things slowly, gradually fell apart. A sneaky Danny Briere goal here, another there, a gradually eroding defense all over the place.

Suddenly, it's the third period and it's tied. Again. And it's overtime, and a game that had once seemed in the bag against the Flyers was suddenly very much out of it and up for grabs. Again. As a friend once put it, tongue firmly planted in cheek, "Them's the breaks."

And when you stop making your own breaks, you tend to get broken. The Penguins certainly did, and after a 4-3 overtime loss, they're now down 1-0 in this best of seven series.

From beginning to the shortly-arriving end of overtime, the Penguins were undeniably sloppy. Disarray ruled the ice for 2:23 until Jakub Voracek deposited the puck past a sprawling Marc-Andre Fleury and into a wide open net.

Prophecy fulfilled.

How close this all could've come to not happening.

Danny Briere got the Flyers on the board in the second period thanks to some fortuitously poor officiating and an undeniably ice-cold finish. A stride offside, he nevertheless collected the puck sans whistle and beat Fleury, who had been rock-solid up until that point (and for the most part after) to narrow the score to 3-1.

And to be sure, this loss can not be blamed on a single blown call.

Briere struck again in the third, scoring on a seeing eye shot that was seemingly beamed from Point A up to the USS Enterprise and back down into the net, making it 3-2 and giving anyone in black and gold who cared at all an uneasy feeling in the pit of their stomach.

A monstrous hit from Brooks Orpik seemed to give the Penguins a needed shot of adrenaline, but he was whistled for interference and, well, that was that for the lead. Brayden Schenn's goal was his third point of the night, and the Flyers undeniably were in control from there.

Game, set and... well, not match. Not yet, at least. Game three is on Friday, with the opening face off scheduled for just after 7:30.

The Battle of Pennsylvania renewed: Penguins - Flyers series preview

2012-04-10T19:30:19Z

Penguins. Flyers. Preview requirements satisfied. Enough said.

And really, it is. Assumedly, the majority of internet perusers stumbling upon this posting are well aware of the historical significance of this rivalry. Of just how badly these two teams and their respective fan bases tend to hate one another.

In terms of historical playoff results, call it a toss up. The Flyers own a 3-2 advantage, but the Penguins triumphed the last two times they met in the playoffs -- a Stanley Cup final appearance in 2008 and the ultimate triumph of 2009.

That 2009 Stanley Cup victory is the type of thing Penguins fans love to rub in the face of Flyers supporters as evidence of western Pennsylvania superiority in sports financially governed by a salary cap. Though the Flyers have historically been more successful, and hold a dominant 141-82-30 series advantage over the Penguins, they haven't won a Stanley Cup since going back-to-back in 1974 and 1975. The Penguins did the same in 1991 and 1992, but 2009 just put it over the top, "it" being the idea that the Flyers are jinxed and the Penguins are not. At least not in the 21st century.

But beyond the results, there are overt philosophical differences. The Broadstreet Bullies versus the high-flying Penguings. Physical supremacy versus offensive skill.

That's the legend and the feeling at heart at least, even if it doesn't match up with the reality of things.

While the Flyers' 1318 penalty minutes led the NHL by a mile -- 173 more than Ottawa, who finished second, and 438 ahead of the Penguins, who lived up to Mario Lemieux's words and dropped down to 19th -- they don't own physical dominance over the Penguins anymore.

Pittsburgh is on the smallish and old size -- we're talking about the team now, not the city -- but physical, aggressive play has typified the team since head coach Dan Bylsma took over. The Penguins led the NHL in goals scored with 273, 13 ahead of the Flyers, who finished tied for second. But those Penguins goals aren't all the result of tic-tac-toe passing. Most of the time it's crashing the net, cashing in on rebounds, shooting prolifically, cycling the puck down low and forcing it in front.

The results are perfect, but they're just brought about in a different manner. Even with Evgeni Malkin slicing and dicing the competition to the tune of 50 goals, with linemate James Neal scoring 40, both career highs, the Penguins are now a north-south team.

Philadelphia still brings a physical, one could reasonably say agitating, style to its game, but it's also much more skillful than a typically imagined Flyers squad. Claude Giroux comfortably led the team in scoring and finished third in the NHL with 93 points, doing so while playing a skilled, clean game.

Similarly, Jaromir Jagr -- we'll get back to him in a second -- finished third on the Flyers with 54 points in 73 games, mainly while staying out of the box. Danny Briere, Kimmo Timonen, Jakub Voacek, Matt Read, James van Riemsdyk, etc. etc. play styles that are really hard to find fault with.

But then you run into sterotypical professional wrestling bad guy Scott Hartnell and Zac Rinaldo and the legend again becomes the reality.

Adding to the intrigue of this match-up are the inclusions of Jagr and Maxime Talbot, each shunning black and Vegas gold in favor of orange and white. Both recieved firm contract offers to play in Pittsburgh this season and both, regardless of the reasonable circumstances, chose to ply their trade in Philadelphia. That's all that will matter to most Penguins fans.

Ex-Flyer Arron Asham is now a Penguin, but it's doubtful the Flyers faithful still take his exit as a sucker punch to the heart (if they ever did).

Both Jagr and Talbot have shown steely nerves in the regular season in Pittsburgh, with Jagr finally showing an ability to drown out the relentless boo birds flung from the rafters of any Pittsburgh arena. The playoffs, however, are a different animal. And the performance of two one-time Penguins playoff heroes could determine how far the Penguins go once again this year.

Penguins defense hangs Brad Thiessen out to dry in 8-4 loss to Senators

2012-03-25T01:59:42Z

Brad Thiessen really isn't that good. An upgrade over Brent Johnson, he is not. Not yet, at least.

Thiessen's not awful, he's not beyond repair. He's just not a guy you want to rely on in a time of need. Need bailed out? He's not posting bail. Maybe he'll be the designated driver, or he'll let you use him as a reliable fall-back excuse to your wife, "Yeah honey, we definitely didn't go to wherever it is you think I shouldn't go, we were at Brad Thiessen's house playing Settlers of Catan and drinking Zima."

So, it's kind of key, just after your captain narrows a two-goal deficit to a one-goal deficit to not surrender a breakaway. To Jason Spezza. Which Thiessen probably can't save. And doesn't.

Or, when you get a power play opportunity shortly after, you don't leave Evgeni Malkin as your lone man back defending a two-on-one rush, and force him to take a penalty while defending it.. Malkin's a wonderful player, and improving in the defensive zone... he's not wonderful at defending odd-man rushes while skating backwards.

So yeah, there were some problems. And the Penguins lost by a bunch, 8-4, reflecting how those problems ruined them in the end, and giving two valuable points to a Senators squad clinging to its spot as the seventh seed in the east with just six games remaining.

The Pens, meanwhile, fall three points behind the New York Rangers, making the propositions of the flightless birds nabbing the top seed in the East all the more unlikely with eight games left.

But there were positives. Can't overlook the positives. Matt Cooke bagged a pair of goals. He's up to 19, one away from 20.

Matt Cooke. Twenty-goal scorer. Say it again. Savor it.

He's greatly benefited from being on the same line as returning playmaker supreme, Sidney Crosby, who finally scored his first goal since returning from his second prolonged spell recovering from post-concussion syndrome.

But Cooke's been a solid offensive contributor all season, so we can't place too much importance on Crosby's return in this regard. Crosby has been great at accelerating the offense for Cooke -- a lot -- but Cooke's been able to showcase his playing ability significantly more now that he's not busy twiddling his thumbs in the penalty box or serving a suspension in press row anymore.

And the Penguins are still very, very good. This type of result can happen to aggressive teams with back-ups in the net while trying to overcome a deficit. You don't have to like it, and you rightly shouldn't. But you shouldn't be surprised when it happens.

Also, on a non-Penguins note, it's nice to see Craig Anderson's return to form in Ottawa, after falling off of the map in Colorado last season. Anderson hasn't been perfect, but he's been solid. After coming in for an injured Ben Bishop, Anderson played well in relief, and was one of the main reasons the Senators were able to stabilize in the defensive zone and take the game to the Penguins

Don't turn your television off for too long. The Pens will be back on the ice in less than 24 hours, when they host the Devils at the CONSOL Energy Center at 7:00.

Safe to say, there should be less scoring. Should be.

Hat-trick hero James Neal, Penguins turn on the flair, soar past Jets 8-4

2012-03-21T02:17:44Z

The Penguins are good at hockey, and to prove it they scored eight goals against the Winnipeg Jets Tuesday night. Winnipeg scored four, good enough for most nights, especially on the road. But not on March 20 and not in Pittsburgh.

Evgeni Malkin had FIVE points.

James Neal had FOUR points, but more impressively, THREE goals for the hat trick.

Sidney Crosby had FOUR assists. Goalless through through four games, he still has managed to register NINE assists. He's up to 21 points in 12 games this season.

Pascal Dupuis scored again. He's up to 21 goals. That's a career-high for the soon-to-be 33-year-old winger.

Only seven Penguins didn't register points tonight, 11 did (believe it or not, Kris Letang didn't score a point).

Just FOUR Jets finished the game with an even or better plus-minus rating.

All of those numbers don't equal an 11-game winning streak, but math like that seems like it should do something good. Like overcome some shaky defending and suspect goaltending.

But eight goals? Defense-schmefense. Points are prettier.

It's hard hating on the Jets, as they really do play a clean, enjoyable brand of hockey. It's just that, with mediocre goaltending and against a team like the Penguins, it's not too much of a surprise when the score gets absurd. Again.

The Pens are up to 96 points now, just a single, lone, solitary overtime loss behind the New York Rangers. Should the Rangers stumble against the Detroit Red Wings on Wednesday the Penguins could have an opportunity to overtake them on Thursday.

Yes, with 10 games remaining, it's really time to watch the scoreboard. Things most definitely just got really, really real.

The Nashville Predators visit the Penguins on Thursday. And while recently reacquired forward Alexander Radulov will likely attract much of the attention and make his return to North American ice for the southerners, the biggest test for the Penguins will be handling a defense like the Predators' and a goaltender like Pekka Rinne.