Welcome to the inaugural edition of Stories I Don't Care About! Today we begin with the Pierogi story. If you haven't heard, the Pirates recently fired a guy for ditching work and griping about the team on his Facebook page. Pretty straightforward, yes? Only the guy's job was to run around dressed like a pierogi! I barely mentioned the story here, confining it to a link in the Starting Lineup to your left, because the only thing I learned from it is that people will find an utterly mundane work story interesting if the person it's about happens to be dressed like a piece of food. Like, "I saw this guy's boss mention to him that maybe he shouldn't take such long lunches. But get this! The dude was dressed as a hot dog!" Anyway, the Pirates rehired the pierogi. Now let us never speak of it again.â†µ
Next in this edition of Stories I Don't Care About is this one about Ben Roethlisberger, which I don't care about only because I don't have children. Apparently Roethlisberger continued his image rehabilitation tour by "surprising" kids at Mike Tomlin's youth football camp. If I did have children, this isn't the sort of surprise I'd want them to receive. A pony, say, or a copy of Grand Theft Auto would be much more wholesome.