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The Amazing Kreskin Offers To Help Pirates

You know your franchise has fallen a long, long way when articles like this start coming out:

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Kreskin told the Tribune-Review he became interested in saving the foundering Pirates while reading about a costumed pierogi mascot whom the franchise fired -- then rehired -- after he posted online grumblings about the terrible team. Abusing the sacred pierogi, the Polish-American Kreskin said, created an uncool culinary mojo and highlighted a confused front office unable to produce winners.

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If retained, Kreskin promises to exile Pirates general manager Neal Huntington and manager John Russell until their recently revealed contract extensions expire in 2011, deals he believes sent the wrong message of "failure and lack of team success" to a squad showcasing the worst hitting and the second-worst pitching stats in Major League Baseball.

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"I'm not saying that we fire these two guys. I think they should be given a vacation in Tibet for two years. In Tibet, or perhaps Uruguay, or someplace very, very comfortable," said Kreskin.

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Sigh. As far as I'm concerned, this is just piling on. And am I the only one who doesn't even think the pierogi story is funny? We get it - the dude dressed as a pierogi. That's the only aspect of the story that could really even be considered interesting.

Photographs by dizfunk used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.