Buster Olney tweets that the Cubs won’t deal first baseman Carlos Pena. I have no idea why not, but hey, the Cubs didn’t get to the position they’re in by being smart. Also keep in mind that, while I don’t doubt that someone told Olney this, it might not be true. In the last five days, we’ve heard that Pena will definitely be traded, that he won’t be traded, that the Pirates are very interested in him, that the Pirates aren’t interested in him, that the Cubs are planning on converting him into a knuckleballing reliever, that he totally made out with your girlfriend in a bar on Clark Street, and that he’s running for prime minister of Madagascar. None of this means anything. This whole storystream makes me sad about writing about sports for a living. Don’t tell anyone.