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Pirates Fan Suggests Bucs Are Losing Because God Is Mad About Zoltan

This isn't news, of course, but this letter in the Post-Gazette about the Pirates' collapse is just amazing.

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But there is a part of the Pirates collapse that is even more disturbing. It's the whole Zoltan thing. I know that it was all innocent fun. But I can't believe the One True God is amused. I don't know the theology of God's favor or disfavor on baseball teams, but I know that God makes it clear in the Bible that "You are to have no other gods before me."

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... I think it is time for them to renounce Zoltan, not to stop what appears to be a supernatural free fall, but to honor the only God worthy of honor.

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So ... the Pirates are losing because God is mad that they celebrate by making references to Dude, Where's My Car? Yes, I guess that's it. They made God angry, but not when they started doing it, because they kept winning for months after the trend began. No, it's only been in the past two months that God has noticed and flipped out. Because, again, they're using a hand signal from an Ashton Kutcher movie.

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If this is a joke, it's a great one. Kudos to its author for getting this into the Post-Gazette.

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For more on the Pirates, check out Bucs Dugout.

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Photographs by dizfunk used in background montage under Creative Commons. Thank you.